“I did everything I could… but it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”
“I keep achieving, but the satisfaction never stays.”
“No matter what I do, there’s always this voice in me saying—‘not quite.’”
If these thoughts sound familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us—especially in a world that glorifies hustle, high performance, and curated perfection—struggle with a quiet but persistent question: Am I enough?
Where Does This Doubt Come From?
Self-doubt isn’t born overnight. It’s often a slow build of years of conditioning:
Over time, we learn to perform to be valued—not just be. And that belief sits deep, silently dictating how we work, relate, and even love.
Psychology calls this conditional self-worth—the belief that “I am only valuable if I succeed, please, or stay perfect.”
The Myth of “Enough”
Perfectionism often disguises itself as discipline or ambition, but in reality, it feeds anxiety and emotional burnout. Here’s the truth: “Enough” isn’t a destination—it’s a feeling. And if your inner compass is wired for inadequacy, no amount of doing will ever feel fulfilling. So you overthink. You overwork. You people-please. You shrink your needs. And yet, you still don’t feel like you measure up.
What Can Help?
Healing this pattern requires both awareness and self-compassion. Here’s how therapy helps you shift this narrative:
1. Recognizing the Inner Critic
Start noticing when that “not enough” voice shows up. Is it when you rest? When someone praises you? When you make a mistake? Awareness is the first step to changing it.
2. Separating Identity from Achievement
You are a human being, not a constant project. In therapy, we work to rebuild self-worth that isn’t performance-based.
3. Creating a New Dialogue
We gently introduce kinder, more realistic self-talk: “I am learning.” “I am valuable even when I’m not productive.”
4. Rewriting the Script
We often carry internalized stories that say: “Only if I…” will I deserve love or rest. Therapy helps you rewrite that: “I am worthy—right here, right now.”
You Were Never Meant to Be Perfect
You were meant to be real, growing, messy, evolving, human.
And that version of you—the one that stumbles, cries, doubts, and still shows up—is more than enough.
Still You, Evolving. If you’ve been carrying the burden of perfectionism or self-doubt, know that healing is possible. You don’t have to prove your worth. You only need to reclaim it.
Warmly,
Shagun Katoch
Clinical Psychologist | The Light
